Crash!

What is your activity threshold?

Now you’re probably asking me, what exactly do I mean by activity threshold? OK, maybe I should make it sound a little more scientific, something like Maximal Level of Active Involvement in Voluntary Commitments? (See what I’ve learned from all the doctoral dissertation titles I see in my job!)

MLAIVC = how much can you stuff into your life before you crash?

I can handle quite a lot so long as there are spaces for physical rest, mental recess, and ordinary tasks such as laundry and grocery shopping. Which means that in any given string of evenings or weekend days I need one or two that are free and clear, with no commitment to anyone for anything.

Years ago, for example, I learned that having two jobs, if one of them is full-time, just doesn’t work for me. I manage for while – a couple of months maybe – and then the part-time job has to go. Unfortunately there have been a couple times where it went pretty much immediately, no two weeks’ or even two days’ notice. Unhappy bosses. Uncomfortable conscience. Not a good feeling.

And there have also been times when I simply overcommitted myself to this task force and that project and such-and-such volunteer service until those spaces mentioned above just plain disappeared. And meeting all my promises became a matter of dogged perseverance with a lot of moaning and groaning and sighing thrown in.

About that time the Human Spousal Activity Barometer, better known as my husband, would say, “You’ve done it again!” Like I really needed him to tell me what I already knew.

OK, maybe I didn’t always know. But I’ve learned. Over time, I’ve become much better at respecting my threshold and avoiding over-commitment. A couple years ago, when my cancer was discovered, I experienced something relatively new. It’s called Doing Nothing. Or at least, nothing extra. For the six months from diagnosis, through surgery, and until completion of chemo and radiation, my whole focus was on just existing. No committee meetings. No volunteering. No big or little projects, personal or otherwise. At some point during that time I was able to once again attend meetings of the Urbana Spiritual Assembly and somewhat resume my duties as secretary, but that was pretty much it.

Basically my calendar was: get up, go to work, go to the cancer center, go home, go to the sofa, stay there until bedtime. Pretty strenuous, huh? Actually, yes, it was!

So when the treatment period ended and my energy level slowly started rising again, I found myself in the interesting position of having one free night after another, all week. It was kind of nice, actually. But little by little, as I felt better, I once again Became Involved. But carefully. Made sure those above-mentioned spaces were included every couple days.

It’s a matter of prioritizing, I think. You have to know – that is, I have to know, you might already have this well understood – how to distinguish what I really want or need to do from what is less important. Or, to paraphrase ‘Abdu’l-Baha, I have to be willing to put the most important ahead of the merely important. After all, sometimes everything durned idea or project or activity that pops up can seem, and actually be, important.

So I’ve been doing pretty well on the MLAIVC barometer. Until along comes a 10-day stretch when somehow almost everything I’m currently doing comes together at the same time. It started nearly two weeks ago. On every single week night and weekend day I was committed to do or help do something really important and/or necessary that just happened to be scheduled during that period: significant Bahá'í events, tasks for the children’s theatre project my daughter and I are developing, the annual new-school-year party at work, Interfaith Alliance meetings, a campus lecture I’d been waiting for two months to attend, and (as they always say in advertisements) much more! Including getting a flu shot before work one day, taking advantage of the free galley giveaway at the campus children’s book center after work another day, and lunch hours commitments such as prayers with a friend and ice skating practice and going to the Registrar’s Office to get my transcript. Plus some exercise time and some GRE study and … oh never mind, that’s about enough of that!

All good stuff. All very important. Much of it unavoidable and unchangeable to other days or other weeks. And lumped together, all too much!

So Thursday, I crashed. Actually Wednesday but the physical act of crashing had to wait until Thursday. Called in sick that morning. Spent all day on the sofa. Still felt kind of punky on Friday, like some bug was trying to get me, and went home from work early. And all the time worried that I might have to stand up a friend and miss participating in a special bike ride planned for Saturday. 42 miles through Amish countryside in the Arthur, Illinois area. Also known to our highly experienced bike club president as “Tour de Manure.”

By Saturday morning, after as much rest and sleep as possible, I felt fine. Able to get up and go by 6:45 a.m., lunch packed, bike tires properly inflated. Ready for a long, happy day.

The weather was perfect, the conversation-while-biking was interesting and fun, the wind was vigorously challenging in many spots, the scenery was beautiful, the haunted cave at Rockhome Gardens was satisfyingly scary, the other riders were friendly, the peek into Amish culture was fascinating. (Check out the picture of horses having a nice chat while they wait for their people to return.) Plus a very cool t-shirt.

All in all, a great day. And exhausting. So when it was over and I came home … you guessed it.

Crash!

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